A Break from Work

Yesterday I was feeling horrible, my muscles ached, my body was trying to shut down, and my stomach was turning.  So, did I go home? Nope. I tried to tough it out.  Eventually I gave up and went home after my assistant asked me what he could do as I was grumbling and swearing under my breath all day.  When I get like that, I need to stop and go home and rest. Nothing good comes from me when I’m that miserable and trying to work.

I went home and tried to sleep.  My phone wouldn’t stop exploding. Random sales calls, people in the office, and my boss.  Yep, my boss. Ugh. He made me feel like I’m a complete failure, as he is want to do. Now not only was I feeling physically horrible I was now emotionally feeling horrible.

I tried to sleep. The kids were loud, I kept getting interrupted, I didn’t get much rest.  I finally fell asleep only to be woke by my wife. She wanted to know if I had started dinner. And, once more, I felt like a failure.  And I snapped at her.

We had a rough night. She was angry with me, and I was still feeling horrible and even more horrible in that I had hurt her by some unkind words.

We eventually talked and worked things out. We always work our problems out, which is one thing I love about her. But it left her feeling empty, and me feeling exhausted.

So, it’s no surprise that I decided to take the day off.

I’m writing this blog while listening to a webcast on RDP security. Right before that I was working on notes for my book. My body is healing, still hurts but my nausea has subsided. I am being personally productive, but I am resting.

Why don’t I rest more?  I run and run and run and stay busy and fix things and try to be Superman for everyone at work and home, and I don’t ever stop. At home when I stop for a minute and I’m not running around, I’m looking for the next thing to do, the next thing to fix. That doesn’t include the things I’m working on for my goals, just things to do for Tracy, for the kids, to fix or clean the house, etc. etc. etc…

I am not Superman, obviously.  I can’t do everything, and I shouldn’t try.  I also need the occasional day of rest to heal and regenerate and refocus on what’s important.

I hate what forced me to take a day off, but I’m glad I took today off.  I’m glad I can take this time to refocus and recharge. I’m sure my boss will still be an ass when I get back to work. My co-workers will ask annoying things and pester me to no end. My house will still need work done and my wife will still need me to do chores.

But, I will be ready for it.

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” – Jesus

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